What is a Parenting Style and why is it important?

Parenting styles are the way in which parents respond to, and interact with, their child.

Research has shown that genetics and environment have equal influence on the development of traits in children.
Parenting contributes to one of the largest portions of a child’s environment, therefore is a huge influence on development.
Parenting approaches have been studied for many years now and although researchers may use different terminology, four main styles have been identified.

You have the power to help shape your child’s life!

The 4 Styles of Parenting

Spoiler Alert: The most effective parenting style is a combination of high expectations AND being highly supportive and warm in your interactions.

AUTHORITATIVE PARENTING: ↑ High Expectations + ↑ High Warmth

Authoritative Parenting:

Have age-appropriate expectations
Help child work through emotions and problems
Hold firm boundaries with some flexibility
Have high expectations and adjust if needed
Believes corporal punishment is ineffective
Nurturing and affectionate
Communication is valued

Effects on Children:

Higher self-esteem & self-confidence
Closer with parents
Less vulnerable to peer-pressure
High level of self-control
Problem solvers
Higher academic performance
Less mental illness and delinquency

AUTHORITARIAN PARENTING: ↑ High Expectations + ↓ Low Warmth

Authoritarian Parenting:

High expectations and strict or demanding rules
No flexibility/rigid
Unquestioned obedience expected at all ages
Believes affection = spoiling
Believes punishment is the way children learn
Emotionally distant
Overly structured environment

Effects on Children:

Lower Self-Esteem – value is in behavior
Behavior not intrinsically motivated but based in the desires and expectations of others
Fearful to make mistakes
Higher percentage of mental illness
Lower academic performance
Poorer social skills
Drug/alcohol abuse
Higher delinquency

PERMISSIVE PARENTING: ↓ Low Expectations + ↑ High Warmth

Permissive Parenting:

Warm and very responsive
Few or no rules
Few or inconsistent boundaries
Overly indulgent or lenient
Low expectations for child
Avoids confrontation – may bribe or give into child’s demands
Discipline only used for extreme situations or not used at all

Effects on Children:

Can have high self esteem and self worth but can be egocentric
Lack of boundaries can create anxiety
Has difficulty with relationships
Poorer social skills
Often lacks respect for authority figures
Has difficulty handling responsibility
Can be impulsive

NEGLECTFUL PARENTING: ↓ Low Expectations + ↓ Low Warmth

Neglectful Parenting:

Little or no parent involvement
Either no expectations or unattainable expectations
Children often left to their own devices
No guidance during life’s problems
Inconsistent boundaries, or none at all
Uninterested in child’s life
Passive in their response or offer little interaction
Emotionally detached
Self-absorbed or overwhelmed with own problems

Effects on Children:

Low self-esteem & feels unworthy of love
Distrustful of others
Struggles with concentration
May have poor nutrition of health
HIgher rate of mental illness
Higher rates of suicide
Higher deliquency and drug use

Click Here To Download Parenting Styles Illustrated PDF Guide

If you would like to learn more about evidence-based approaches to raising children in healthy, positive ways, you may want to consider researching Gentle Parenting.

While this is a newer term being used, it is most closely aligned to the authoritative style of parenting and shares the same positive outcomes (happy, confident, kind, independent kids).

It is important to note that gentle parenting is NOT lazy or permissive parenting! Gentle parenting relies on appropriate expectations and reasonable discipline that is communicated clearly and respectfully so that children can learn to behave in age appropriate, respectful ways.

For more information… check out our Discipline Page to see how parenting styles can guide effective approaches to discipline or to check out the list of books that are based on child development research here.